10 Habits of a Happy Marriage

Hey ya'll, thanks for popping by! Hubby and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary on Tuesday, and I'm still having trouble believing it's been a year since we said our I do's! The happy afterglow of our anniversary trip to the White Mountains made me think about what exactly it is that makes us so...well, happy. Out of this musing was born my list of 10 habits of a happy marriage. Now I am by no means an expert. Just very happily married to the love of my life. These are just what work for us. 

Us being all happy. :)

1. Think before you speak. This one is pretty self-explanatory, but it's also important. Whether it's an off-the-cuff remark or something hurled at your spouse in the heat of an argument, words can never be unsaid. Bite your tongue. Take a second to play out the remark in your head, and think about how you'd react if it was coming at you. 

2. Remember that your spouse is your best friend, and treat them accordingly. Listen to them when they need to vent, thank them for something they did today instead of taking it as a given, and watch your tone when your talking to them. I've been known to be a smidge on the sensitive side, and hubby's tone really affects what I hear when he speaks to me. No matter what words he's saying, I've found that I react more to his tone than the actual words.

 3. Actions speak louder than words. If there's a chore that you know your spouse is dreading, take care of it for them instead of nagging and nagging, and then thanking them in the end. Thanks only goes so far. Pick up that futurama bottle opener that reminds you of your hubby in the grocery store line to let him know you were thinking of him. Hold your wife's hand while you're walking through the mall. Say your sorry for forgetting pick up the dry cleaning, but back it up by heading out and doing it. Right now.


4. When you're together, be together. Turn off the phone, log off facebook, put away the to-do list. Get outside, take a walk in the woods together. Toss around a baseball. Drive around the neighborhood and pick out your future house. Watch a movie together. Or your wedding video. Whatever you do, it's about you two. Just you two.


5.  Save the drama fo yo momma.  At one point in time, I may have been somewhat of a drama queen. Nick is the complete opposite, a "come what may" kinda guy. This did not mesh well. He couldn't understand why not having the right socks on  totally ruined a bowling date, and I couldn't understand how getting rained out of out mini golf plans was okay, even though we ended up seeing a movie instead. Since getting married, I'm much more laid back, and I've gotta say, I'm much happier. And WE are much happier. We have more fun, are more flexible, and don't miss out on things just because they didn't go exactly as planned. Loosen up, people.

6. Include eachother in the small decisions, too. Even if it seems silly, you don't know how it's going to affect your spouse. We were at WalMart getting....everything, cause that's what you do at WalMart, and Nick happened to need body wash. Instead of grabbing one off the shelf, he asked me which one I liked the smell of. A tiny little decision, but he made me feel special because he wanted to use the body wash that I liked. Because I liked it. Small issue, but sweet. Finaicial decisions, housing, a new car, vacation destination, all of these things are better when you figure them out together. In our experience, the same goes for body wash, what to have for dinner, and what movie to get from Redbox. Just saying.

7. Small guestures make a big difference. We were running out the door today, and I opened the fridge to get a sippy cup out for our god daughter. Inside the fridge were 2 pieces of pie from Burger King that Nick had picked up to surprise me. Kinda made my day. He's so sweet.

8. Highlight the good, blink past the bad. I'm not saying to repress feelings or anything so dramatic. Just to focus on the amazing things about your spouse, your marriage, and the life you've built together. Not the one or two negatives that seem oh so important at one particular moment. For example, on our trip to the White Mountains this past weekend, Nick and I hiked to a waterfall, we played in the water there, we tried new resturants, we took a scenic train ride, we had Ben and Jerry's, and in general enjoyed being together in a setting neither of us had ever experienced before. We also didn't get cupcakes from a cute little cupcakery that I found online. But who cares? What I remember about that trip is candlelight, good food, waterfalls, and being with my husband. That makes for a much better memory than a missed-out-on cupcake. And that's a lot for me, cause I looooooove cupcakes.


9. Ask your spouse once (or more!) a day, "what can I do to help you out today?" Maybe not in so many words, but the principle stands. When Nick has to work after school, I make a point to ask if there's anything I can do for him that he wanted to get done that evening. If he's stopping somewhere on the way home, he shoots me a text asking if I need him to pick anything up. When we get stressed by our never ending to do lists, there's not better feeling than knowing there's someone in your corner to help you out. It makes it much harder to get overwhelmed when you know your husband or wife is right there to back you up.


10. Never underestimate the power of silly. Awhile back, Nick was putting up the leftovers from dinner and I was lounging on the couch. That's the life, huh? ;) For some reason, he threw up wadded up ball of tin foil at me. I grabbed the x-box remote and hit it back to him like a baseball. This turned into a 20 minute game, with both of us cracking up over it. 20 minutes of not thinking about work stresses, financial issues, or anything more serious than whether or not I could hit the tin foil far enough for Nick to catch it. Some days, I think everyone really needs that. 


So that's how we roll. How about you? Anything not on my list that you think should be?